'You Are Enough'
All of us, at some point or other, have felt like everyone else is doing so much better than themselves. I’ve certainly felt it. At those certain points, all I seem to hear is: this person is gaining a promotion, this person is achieving every qualification under the sun or starting up a new business or shooting a film etc. It has sometimes been overwhelming. It’s so easy to focus in on the negative parts of our lives when we compare ourselves to others. Sometimes, when we’re feeling particularly low, we seem to put them on a sort of pedestal and us in the dirt, when actually it’s not like that at all.
For one thing, as much as I enjoy social media and all the things I have discovered through using it, it’s biggest downfall is how easy it is compare yourself to others. The constant swarm of wonderful lives or incredible activism or fantastic artistry can make you question what you’re doing with your own life… I think it is good to have some kind of push, but when it starts affecting your self-worth, as I know it does for so many young people these days, that’s when it ceases to be a good thing. So, it’s very important to remember that for the most part, everyone else, just like you, selects the best angle, the best lighting, the best shot, the best filter, all so that their Instagram feed looks like an idealistic version of their lives rather than a realistic one. For instance, you wouldn’t normally find a photo of someone’s messy pile of clothes on that chair everyone has in their room or if they get pizza dough on their clothes with no filter, no makeup and frizzy hair - you know?
Let me tell you now: You will never be good enough for yourself if you constantly compare yourself to others. If someone, whether that be a friend or whoever, does something really well, even if seems like it’s better than what you’re doing, then good on them, but it should NEVER change the way you view yourself. You are unique. There is only one of you, so be proud of who you are. If you find you’re questioning life choices, present-life situations or your future plans based on what you’ve seen on social media for instance, then close down Instagram, remove yourself from your phone and take time out to read a book or mediate or do something totally unrelated to what you’ve just seen.
It was only last year, that I really started to spend necessary time on inner reflection and mental well-being. This is why mediation or self-help books or listening to podcasts can be helpful to realise that there are others out there just like you. It has certainly helped me to find inner calm and build up my confidence to be the best version of myself I can be. Mindfulness is so important and sharing the good times as well as the bad times with friends and family certainly helps. We all have our struggles, but we also have the power within us to pick ourselves up to fight another day.
You are amazing and remember, if people judge you for your previous setbacks then they are not worth your time. If someone doesn’t like you for no good reason, ignore them and move on to someone else who will value you for the fabulous human that you are. Believe me, I KNOW, it’s hard to feel positive sometimes, but trust me, go out for a run, read a chapter of your book or even clean the loo and you’ll feel so much better! You would have turned that shitty feeling (pun intended) and focused that energy into doing something constructive. You are enough. Enough said.
Side Note: I am currently ready Fearne Cotton’s ‘Happy’ which touches on the topic above. I’ll of course be writing about my thoughts and feelings about the book in the upcoming weeks, but if you wish to start reading it before then you can purchase it for £3 from Amazon (at the time of publishing this post)